A little bit of the back side

A little bit of the back side
Girl Zone!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Joan of Arch Coming back for more.

As my previous post states that i was held artistically captive in Catemaco, Veracruz by my family. It was at the start of this blog that i had decided to expose my family, not for being frauds, but for not being a family, and for letting a legacy make them believe they were entitled to have some royalty status. Warlocks and Witches of Catemaco.  My father had just past away i was dealing with the fact that he had left me in the hands of some ambitious human beings. I had come in to my grandmothers house announcing my blog, at least i had the honesty of telling them before i posted.  I told them i was going to write about all the crazy stories that i had heard and witness over the years, the bad and good times from my family. I though it that it could be interesting, I mean my Aunt A has enough stories that can fill a Spielberg movie. I at the moment am not sure weather to use there real names or not, because i fear for my life. Kinda funny when i am less afraid of the Narcos than you're own family.

My father was a hippy indeed. He had been married to Meche Carrions niece before my mother. Her name was Sandra when i was a child i was convinced that she was my actual mother, that my father had kept me after their divorce. I would fabricate al sort of things that would dissociate me with my family. I grew up hearing and seeing some crazy things. I wanted to talk about them, i wanted to share it with everyone, but as i am writing this i am getting threats. I didn't hide the fact that i wanted to do, i gave them a heads up, I though that was nice of me.. I could have just written and not gave a fuck, but they chose to be cruel to me, they chose to alienate me for being different for thinking differently, for loving animals, for being outspoken, and some even look at me like i am nothing because i didn't go to some ridiculous expensive collage. I do how ever believe in hard work because that is what i was taught by my father. My father encouraged me to always be honest to always work hard, to not lie and to express my-self artistically. I am a musician at heart i play the piano and i write songs, and i have always pursued telling the truth.  I will reveal the truth.  I had to come to Texas to do it, to feel safe.  When i came in and told them about my blog and what i had plan to do and say, I got five blank ugly stares pointed straight at me. My mother, my aunt P,  two cousins and aunt N from marriage.  I felt like a bowling ball had just gone down the gutter hole, and it was followed by no you can't do that, you can't say that, you can't post things like that.
I will talk about it, i will say that, Why because it is the truth, Why because you're negativity towards has inspired me to.  People that live in Glass houses should not throw stones.  

Till next post keep you're brooms on hand we might be flying by to say hello. 

On another note, Brujeria, and Catholics, all i can say about that is that Catholics are very different every where else except in Mexico, but it's even more twisted in Catemaco. I have heard and i have seen The priest at the church in Catemaco tell the people not to practice brujeria, and i have seen them leave church and start gathering up the things to do spells and limpias on people, and still say that they are good Catholics.  I have even seen them cure with a cross and jesus nailed right on it.  So may-be we will talk about this next time. I describe that time my Aunt Y "cured" the evil spirits in me with a photo of jesus held against the sun to show me the light. I say Catholics brought this upon themselves, and i can see how certain traditions got intertwined with witchery. 
So i might start this blog again the right way. I have not posted anything new, because i started with out being my self.  I had this idea of where i wanted to go with it, but my family opposed to it, and i found out that sometimes you're family can really fuck you over. I was living in Catemaco Veracruz Mexico, I wanted to do this so you understand why i say crazy down south.  My mother comes from a line of insane sisters, and asshole brothers. I don't care any more, i don't fucking care

I am going to say what i have to say no matter how many people i offend on my mothers side, and possibly my fathers. My mother especially because they were assholes to me all my life. What the fuck did you fear of me, when my only pursuit was to find happiness.  So i had an outline if you will of what i wanted to write. I wanted to describe the crazy things i have lived, because it's just sad to let it go un - told.  I left Catemaco Veracruz, but i didn't leave i ran away like if i was a escaping from the an evil wizard who wanted to cut out my heart or kill me with evil eyes..  I wanted to be me, who ever i am, i wanted to be it. I felt like i was dying, i felt that if i stayed another day they would really hurt me. They wanted to commit me and the ones who should be in the looney bin is them. All of them, they all have some fucked up view of the world. Now i am in Mcallen Texas, safe so i think. Away from the madness. So i will wright about them, and i will say what i have to say. If they do not like it  too bad.. So slowly but surely i will pick this up and it will be better, because i am better, because my art is flourishing again, because i am writing again and making sense of it all, because i am able to express my-self, something that "They" did not allow me to do. How? by criticizing and putting me down, by making sure that my ego was destroyed fearing that i might succeeded and they would look bad. I am not seeking to win something or anything but to relieve my soul. Expression ! I do not need therapy i needed love.