Joan of Arch Coming back for more.

As my previous post states that i was held artistically captive in Catemaco, Veracruz by my family. It was at the start of this blog that i had decided to expose my family, not for being frauds, but for not being a family, and for letting a legacy make them believe they were entitled to have some royalty status. Warlocks and Witches of Catemaco.  My father had just past away i was dealing with the fact that he had left me in the hands of some ambitious human beings. I had come in to my grandmothers house announcing my blog, at least i had the honesty of telling them before i posted.  I told them i was going to write about all the crazy stories that i had heard and witness over the years, the bad and good times from my family. I though it that it could be interesting, I mean my Aunt A has enough stories that can fill a Spielberg movie. I at the moment am not sure weather to use there real names or not, because i fear for my life. Kinda funny when i am less afraid of the Narcos than you're own family.

My father was a hippy indeed. He had been married to Meche Carrions niece before my mother. Her name was Sandra when i was a child i was convinced that she was my actual mother, that my father had kept me after their divorce. I would fabricate al sort of things that would dissociate me with my family. I grew up hearing and seeing some crazy things. I wanted to talk about them, i wanted to share it with everyone, but as i am writing this i am getting threats. I didn't hide the fact that i wanted to do, i gave them a heads up, I though that was nice of me.. I could have just written and not gave a fuck, but they chose to be cruel to me, they chose to alienate me for being different for thinking differently, for loving animals, for being outspoken, and some even look at me like i am nothing because i didn't go to some ridiculous expensive collage. I do how ever believe in hard work because that is what i was taught by my father. My father encouraged me to always be honest to always work hard, to not lie and to express my-self artistically. I am a musician at heart i play the piano and i write songs, and i have always pursued telling the truth.  I will reveal the truth.  I had to come to Texas to do it, to feel safe.  When i came in and told them about my blog and what i had plan to do and say, I got five blank ugly stares pointed straight at me. My mother, my aunt P,  two cousins and aunt N from marriage.  I felt like a bowling ball had just gone down the gutter hole, and it was followed by no you can't do that, you can't say that, you can't post things like that.

I will talk about it, i will say that, Why because it is the truth, Why because you're negativity towards has inspired me to.  People that live in Glass houses should not throw stones.  

Till next post keep you're brooms on hand we might be flying by to say hello. 

On another note, Brujeria, and Catholics, all i can say about that is that Catholics are very different every where else except in Mexico, but it's even more twisted in Catemaco. I have heard and i have seen The priest at the church in Catemaco tell the people not to practice brujeria, and i have seen them leave church and start gathering up the things to do spells and limpias on people, and still say that they are good Catholics.  I have even seen them cure with a cross and jesus nailed right on it.  So may-be we will talk about this next time. I describe that time my Aunt Y "cured" the evil spirits in me with a photo of jesus held against the sun to show me the light. I say Catholics brought this upon themselves, and i can see how certain traditions got intertwined with witchery. 

So i might start this blog again the right way. I have not posted anything new, because i started with out being my self.  I had this idea of where i wanted to go with it, but my family opposed to it, and i found out that sometimes you're family can really fuck you over. I was living in Catemaco Veracruz Mexico, I wanted to do this so you understand why i say crazy down south.  My mother comes from a line of insane sisters, and asshole brothers. I don't care any more, i don't fucking care

I am going to say what i have to say no matter how many people i offend on my mothers side, and possibly my fathers. My mother especially because they were assholes to me all my life. What the fuck did you fear of me, when my only pursuit was to find happiness.  So i had an outline if you will of what i wanted to write. I wanted to describe the crazy things i have lived, because it's just sad to let it go un - told.  I left Catemaco Veracruz, but i didn't leave i ran away like if i was a escaping from the an evil wizard who wanted to cut out my heart or kill me with evil eyes..  I wanted to be me, who ever i am, i wanted to be it. I felt like i was dying, i felt that if i stayed another day they would really hurt me. They wanted to commit me and the ones who should be in the looney bin is them. All of them, they all have some fucked up view of the world. Now i am in Mcallen Texas, safe so i think. Away from the madness. So i will wright about them, and i will say what i have to say. If they do not like it  too bad.. So slowly but surely i will pick this up and it will be better, because i am better, because my art is flourishing again, because i am writing again and making sense of it all, because i am able to express my-self, something that "They" did not allow me to do. How? by criticizing and putting me down, by making sure that my ego was destroyed fearing that i might succeeded and they would look bad. I am not seeking to win something or anything but to relieve my soul. Expression ! I do not need therapy i needed love.

two little tales...

 I have two quick little stories about chaneques, (look in the crzy down south vocabulary to find out what it is.) One of the stories was past on by grandmother of an event that happen to her, the other i heard a long the way and i though it was cute so i'm going to share it with you. 


My grandmother would tell this story when she would rock us on her rocking chair, or when she would eat with us at dinner time, or on late nights when we would gather around her and beg her to tell us about my grandfather and all his adventures. It has been said that my grandmother has a great deal of power, Their is a story told by some of the her older kids, that my grandmother had gotten possessed by a Russian trapeze gymnast who had died in one of her shows. They say that she started speaking russian and bending back wards and doing flips, and she was not a very young when it happen so for a lady that has never in her life done a flip it freaked everyone, and the part about speaking russian well my grandmother has no knowledge that their is a place called Russia. She was doing all this trapeze acts and my grandfather was the only one that could bring her back. She also turned into one the Catholic Saints, but that one is hardly talked about. I guess i should start by sayen that my grandmother and grandfather knew each other since they were kids they use to live in a little sea cost town about 50 miles away from Catemaco called "El Real" they were sent out to look for water and they went out to a waterfall that was nearby, as they were walking they heard little laughter, and strange noises, as they were walking they could hear mischievous foot steps walking around them; walking up to the waterfall they noticed a little naked boy right in the middle of the small pool the waterfall right behind him, and right in the middle the little naked boy was pouring water on himself with a ( jica) this is a dish made out of a dried a fruit that grows on a tree, it's not to eat, its plant that when you cut it down you let the insides dry out and can be used to store water, or cut in half to make dishes or small pots to carry water in. Suddenly he notices his audience and starts calling them in whistling a little song and with his finger curling it towards him with an invitation to join him in the middle of the pool, normally it's the deepest part of the pool. They were quickly drawn in to go play with their new found friend when suddenly my grandfather said to my grandmother; this must be a chaneque we can't go and play with him, he will only takes us to drown us or take us to be his slave, the only way to get him to leave us alone is to call him Juan and start cursing at him to leave us alone. It's been said that a chaneque are to be considered dangerous and must curs at them to get them to leave you alone, so that is what they did, the little creature got so annoyed that he suddenly disappeared right before their eyes, just vanished, or as i like to say back to their 5th dimension.


I've never had an encounter like that, and sometimes i just can't believe it, but id like to; just makes this world a little bit more magical and dreamy. For those who have never seen fairy circles i can tell you that i have the site of them gives you a magical feeling inside. In my case it takes me back to feeling like a kid again especially if it has just rained the smell of green is magical, and yes green does have a smell it's automatic i look inside the crayon box and take out forest green and i swear to you i can smell a forest. I can't say that may-be some chaneques get bored of their life, and crave to live in our world, back then their was no t.v. no radio, i can imagine not wanting to be curious about humans or what they do, and may-be thats why they would mess with them, and provoke humans out sheer boredom, i would do the same, but as time went on and technology became more accessible to humans i can only imagine that chaneques would share the same kind of curiosity for human toys, when humans stop going into the woods, when they stopped going for walks to stay home and watch t.v. life as a chaneque could have gotten dull.  I heard of a deal, that was made between a chaneque and a human. I suppose this was done out of rebellion just like humans sometimes just get bored of their life and wish they could locket up with their pleasures all to themselves. Chaneques are also known for having a love for stealing and specifically gold, in this one holds the power for open negotiation with a human who lives in a world were financial wealth is desired. This particular chaneque had a particular desire to leave his chaneque life behind, and wanting nothing more than to be able to smoke cigarets and drink and watch t.v. all day long. So he struck up a deal with a man in his town, he said to the man;  I am tired of my chaneque life all i do is watch what humans do and guard the rain forest and make sure plants are green and growing i just want to sit on a couch and watch t.v. and smoke cigarets and drink alcohol ( all things not permitted in a chaneque world.) The man said to him what would i get in return, and how can i assure my safety around you? The chaneque replied to him; i will pay you with gold coins as many as you want for every week that you let me stay and get me cigarettes and booze, and at night you can lock me up in a cage to give me a sleeping area and i wont escape to do things at night, but during the day I want to watch t.v. and smoke, and drink and feel free of my chores. The man bravely and feeling sad for the little creature agreed and let him stay in his home. As time went buy the man began to leave the cage open and the little creature began to become a friend to the man and eventually would watch t.v. together, and learned to respect and coexists with one another. 

Crzy down South Vocabulary

For this blog, I though i would include a Vocabulary Glossary to begging with. 

This blog is dedicated to my Art History Professor, Fransico Calvijero who wanted to write a book about my family and got a stroke and forgot about doing the book, and i was to be included in the research and the writing of it, but our past got separated by powerful forces called LIFE, 


And to my Grandfather Gonzalo Aguirre Peche, he is the soul reason this town has a festival, and has this following, and has been taken fro-granted and forgotten for all the work he did for this town even if it was a bunch of Hocus Pocus, And to my Grandmother ( Chepa) who i love and cherish more than any one knows and has fueled me with stories that  i will take to the next generation. She has shown all of us what it is to be a strong women, and also believed that she holds great power, but chose not to use it.   If you are ever in the area say that you read my blog and hopefully she will invite you to eat and you do not want to pass that off. 


and last for my Father Charles Allen Goldstein leder who i loved and taught me some of the most hardest lesson in life he past away last year, and loved this town after finding it in his hippie years in the 70's, and decided to stay and marry a crazy local girl who is part of the this history as one of the 7 brujas ( 7 witches) 


Crzy down South Vocabulary 


Brujo: Witch Doctor, or Chamana, or Bruja in the Female version. 
Purga: a concoction made to cleans all your insides and get rid of any harmful poisons you may have eaten that contain witchery or the evil eye, or jealousy by someone. Including ex lovers.  
Limpia: A process that involves a prayer to one of the Catholic Icons, where an egg, and basil leaves are used to clean you from head to toe, to get rid of evil spirits, and vibes. From this they also take a reading to see what is possessing you. The reading is taken by the egg that was rubbed all over your body to get all the negativity transferred in it. The egg is broken and poured into a brandy glass to see what they are dealing with and how bad you have been worked on by a wichery. 
Albaca: Basil Plant used to do the cleansing scared plant believed to hold supernatural power. 
Contra: Concoction made to protect you against witchery, could be a simple one that does not cost very much money, or the real expensive one, My aunt sells one i heard that cost around 25 thousand pesos. 
Amuleto: Special gift made to bring you luck or what ever you ask for. Sometimes you are ask to get a Gold Coin and the Brujo cures it to bring you the luck you need, or it could be small red pouch filled with incense, wax candles, and herbs believed to bring you luck and cure sickness. 
Santismia Muerte:  A saint that comes for the Dead, very powerful Saint, used for Dark Magic, She comes in different colors, each color represents what she does, and her power. She is highly respected, because she is a very jealous Saint, believed to come for people if she is betrayed. 
Nathual: This a being who is able to change into an animal and spy on people, and has a more indian background. In Art history this is studied in Pre-hispanic art, but in society today has been taken in a more modern way. 
Mayate: Only theory except in small towns in mexico, or in machismo society. This is a man who is married to a women, or has a girlfriend who is a women, but has sex with men, and claim to not be gay. He is the one who fucks the guy, not the one who gets in the ass. 
chaneques: It's a mystical being like ferries, or gnomes, but they have stayed in a childlike state usually cause trouble, and are considered dangerous if you are ever to see one face to face only way to get them to leave you alone is to cuss at them curs words. 
Primero de Mayo: the first day of May, is a festival in Catemaco Veracruz where all the witch doctors gather to celebrate what they do and stand for out in the open. they perform shows for people who come to see this festival, and tell their stories. ( I will elaborate on this later in my blog, for i have a bit of a beef with this festival) 
Cerro Mono Blanco: A mountain top called the White Monkey where the brujos gather to make sacrifices to the Devil.  Believed to be the source of power for all brujos, This is where my grandfather got his power by making an offering to the devil, with in my family rumors it is believed that he turned in one of his 9 children, but later made a deal that he would exchange himself in order to save his child. ( As soon as i convince one of my uncle to give up evidence that he has from personal archives that he has collected over the years i will post it to back up as evidence that i am not making this shit up.) 
Fiesta del Carmen: Another one of the big festivals this town host. This Celebrates a Catholic Virgin. It's is the towns Virgin believed to have been seen by a local fishermen, This fishermen called Juan Catemaco is the believed to be the reason the town was named Catemaco.  This is idealistically believed to be the reason, but it is not, the name Catemaco is part of Pre-Hispanic history and indian náhuatl language it means Burned Houses. This is a region that was governed by Mexico's first and mother indian culture the Olmecs is a very mysterious tribe that still to this day is an uncompleted discovery of this ancient culture believed to be magical beings. I'll try not to get into this very much to not bore you with a Pre-hispanic Art history corse. 


I hope you enjoy this blog, that is a story in the making.  It will be funny, and sad. It will be Life with a little bit of magic.  

A writers curse!

I was not in a good mood today,  I started thinking about my blog, and the real reason for making my blog,, I was going to write about all the insane things my mothers family is about,, I mean crazy things paranormal, mystic things, that just go totally against science, and even their own religion, which to me is the the comical side of this story. So i was thinking about it; how it was going to be fun to write about it, then i got sad, and upset, and bitter. I've been living in Mexico for like 10 or 8 years i don't even know cause i lost track of time here, it's like another universe, It's Mexico, yes, but it is a small fucking town that revolves around Witchcraft, famous (Brujos ) If you watch True Blood something is going to happen with Jesus, Lafaettes love interests that is from Catemaco, something to with all the crazy things that go on around here, but the only truth is it's bullshit, My family is the reason this town is even known for it. My Grandfather Gonzalo Aguirre, look it up , is the one that made this town what it is, and other fakers have taken credit for what he did. Fools, Fools, Stupid fools.  The gay thing is just a coincidence, this town is full of gay people, Making ever so difficult to date when you're straight, and all the guys are gay or in the closet, I hate the closet ones,, you never know what you're getting, at least you know whats up with the ones that are out, any ways that is a different story. The writer curse, i hate where i live, and i want to go back to the States, to Mcallen Texas, where i was raised.  It's like that movie with Tom Hanks son in it,, Orange County, Every day is just crazy, crazy after crazy, The crazy never ends, but if i left i wouldn't have anything to say and get angry about. I just can't take it any more I miss air-condition, good Chinese food,  Movies, books, I miss speaking English, I even miss Traffic lights, and the fact that Cops don't take bribes.  The good thing is that i am forced to use my imagination, the bad things is no offense, but i don't get paid to put into my blog.  so day 2 of my blog well not day 2 it's like 2 and half,  any ways i get what im sayen . 

A promise to blog!

So hear it is, the truth. I've tried like a billion times to keep a blog,  so this is my very last attempt if i do not make the oath to put my story out their, i am officially irresponsible, and i am not evolving in this technological world!  So it is like around 11:14 p.m. it feels much later, which is strange since i've come down with insomnia. So Here is a promise to write in my blog, and not only to write in my blog, but to write a great blog that will be fun, and interesting to read, and completely truthful, with sprinkles of  exaggerations.